Of New Year's Resolutions and Other Fleeting Requiems

And though you spoke of strength,
which moved heavens and this earth...

There is only this; to escape.
But do we not both run away
at one point... towards the same point... 
and from one point...
only to find ourselves
meeting again at the horizon?

And that which you ask from me so dearly...
equates only to silence; mine to be exact.

And thus the farewell becomes only
a small favor asked, so that I may become mum.

So hear now, my muffled musings...
the deep and sorrowful universe I made,
which you can no longer visit.

It was I who have been the option...
By you...
By others...
By my self...

Back to a place where I never left.

Misplaced but never gone,


Jay Protacio Mendoza
(1978-           )

MAMAMATAY NA AKO, MALAPIT NA...

After taking my son to school the other day, I drove around the city's main metro area for 10 minutes. I saw this old man sitting on a curve, in front of an old abandoned building. I parked on the side of the road to take his picture and as i did, he asked me, "Mapapahamak ba ako dahil sa litrato na yan?" Then I answered, "Hindi po 'tay, libangan ko lang po ito."

Then while I was already taking his pictures, he said to me, "Kung sabagay, kahit mapahamak ako, ayos lang... mamamatay na rin naman ako... malapit na...."

It took a while before his words sank in and when it did, I felt a blank and blunt throb in my heart... I guess I was shocked with waht he said... I walked slowly away from him and rode my car... I even forgot to ask his name.

Maybe I'll see him again... and ask him what his name is... maybe...

Kaligayahan

Dahil naibaba na ang lahat ng depensa

at lahat ng sandata'y naubos.

Tanging bala ay

ay mga pumupugak na pintig

at punglong pinapurol na ng

malayang isip.

Mga ilang saglit na tuwa

(parang walang katapusan)

at nawaglit na mga ala-ala.

Ikaw iyon. Noon.

Ngayon naman ay tayo.

Ito lang ang alam kong gyera

na parehong kampo ang masaya.

Wagi.

Maligalig pero maligaya.

June 19, 2009

Photo by: me J. Protacio

Model : My Wife