Alimbukay ng Alipato (Gush of Embers) - Photos & Blurbs By Jay Protacio Mendoza

Day 38

2011-04-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

Life budding where pangs of life

had left
long ago.

Some pains stay longer than others.
But not to compare yours from mine.

Never an excuse
only a cry for help
unheard
mocked

An act of
utter disrespect.

The ghosts I had are gone.
The one that haunts me now...
is the one you made.

And if your gift is knowing when you will die... will you use it?

2009-09-20T20:57:00.000-07:00

In one of my earlier blog posts (dated July 29, 2009... click here to view the original blog post), I wrote about this man whom, I incidentally found sitting on a curb in front of an old, abandoned building in the city's downtown area. I took his picture that moment and as I was taking his picture, he asked me, "Mapapahamak ba ako sa litrato na yan?" (Will I get in trouble with those pictures?) Then I answered, "Hindi po 'tay, libangan lang 'to" (No, this is just for my hobby)

Then out of no where, he told me, "Kung sabagay, kahit mapahamak ako, ayos lang... Mamamatay na ako eh.. malapit na...." (Well anyway, it doesn't matter if I get into trouble... I'm going to die... very soon...)

After what he said registered in my mind... I felt a surge of coldness inside me... My head went blank and there was an empty and blunt throb in my heart... I walked backwards... slowly... away from him... and rode off in my car... I even forgot to ask his name.. (As I always take my time to talk to people in the streets whom I take pictures of...)

After a week or saw I learned his name from a common acquaintance... His name is Fedencio Aquino... or "Mang Piding" to those who are close to him...

About four days ago, our common acquaintance told me Mang Piding died of a heart attack last September 8, 2009 during the peak of a typhoon.. while the streets where flooded...

His name: Fedencio Aquino... a brother, a father, a grandfather, a friend to many, and a husband... He always had this peculiar grin in his face and he was always happy... and most of all he had this gift of knowing when he will die...

To view and read the July 29, 2009 post, please click here

Rainy Day Blues

2009-09-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

It's been raining for a week now. Business is definitely slow. I can't go out to shoot the streets. So I decided to play around with Photoshop CS3 and a few old photos I have stashed in my hard drive. I came up with this:

I titled this post-processed photo "And Suffer As I Have" for no reason.

Well, post processing stock photos is a fun way for a Street Photography addict to let the rainy days pass...

On My (Kind of) Street Photography

2009-08-03T23:09:00.000-07:00

I fell in love with street photography even before I fell in love with taking pictures. I have always been a great fan of street photography.

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

With all due respect to the other specialties (like landscape, model shots, wedding, seascape, nature, etc...), I love street photography for the following reasons:

1. Because of its challenges. - For me, there is no other type of photography (except photo journalism) that gives you the challenge of walking up to total strangers on the streets and ask to take their pictures.. specially for street portraits. Well ofcourse there are instances when you have to take candid shots of street scenes but you can do that inside your car or a taxi cab. The real challenge comes when you need to come close to your subject in the streets and more often than not, the street can be a really hostile place... more often than not the people are not that friendly...

2. Because here, you need to establish a certain connection with people on the streets and even at some point, you need to establish a certain connection with the streets themselves. - I walk up to potantial subjects... talk to them before or after I take their pictures and try to listen to their stories... I never like taking pictures and not know or atleast not have a clue as to what lives they have... Sometimes I think street photography is more of a way for me to get in touch with people rather than getting in touch with them as a way for me to do street photography.

3. Because in street photography, the drama is your basis for composition. - In the streets, everything happens so fast. Very often, you wouldn't have the time to technically prepare for a shot (not enough time to set up your lights, to place each object or subject within the rule of thirds and not enough time to direct your subjects' pose), and on one hand, you have capture a moment while it is happening so fast. So the aesthetics would greatly rely on immediate drama of your shot and those pictures that really touch the emotions are the most effective.

4. Because in street photography not only do I learn how to take pictures of people and scenes... I also learn many things about life.

Para sa Huling Pag Lubog ng Araw

2009-07-31T23:42:00.000-07:00

At natapos na
ang hindi pa nasimulan.
Huling sulyap sa mga
anino
na muli't muli'y tatawid
sa atin.

Bagamat ang bukas ay ganito
pa rin ang dadatnan natin.
Mahalaga ay nandito ako
sa kanyang pagpanaw.

Ngayon ko sya nakuha,
sa panulukan ng kanyang ganda...
dahil hindi na kami
magkakilala bukas.

O dili kaya'y...
Hindi sya magpakita sa atin.

(I guess this is my ode to the sun... the only light bringer from the east... I've always had this idea that the sun we see each day is a different one... and we are strangers to each sun that rises... or perhaps a day will come when it will cease to rise... so each sunset could be our last...)
Larawan at Salita: Jay Protacio Mendoza

Lugar: Mangrove Trail, Subic Bay Freeport Zone

MAMAMATAY NA AKO, MALAPIT NA...

2009-07-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

After taking my son to school the other day, I drove around the city's main metro area for 10 minutes. I saw this old man sitting on a curve, in front of an old abandoned building. I parked on the side of the road to take his picture and as i did, he asked me, "Mapapahamak ba ako dahil sa litrato na yan?" Then I answered, "Hindi po 'tay, libangan ko lang po ito."

Then while I was already taking his pictures, he said to me, "Kung sabagay, kahit mapahamak ako, ayos lang... mamamatay na rin naman ako... malapit na...."

It took a while before his words sank in and when it did, I felt a blank and blunt throb in my heart... I guess I was shocked with waht he said... I walked slowly away from him and rode my car... I even forgot to ask his name.

Maybe I'll see him again... and ask him what his name is... maybe...

Loosing sight of things

2009-07-09T01:46:00.000-07:00

In the blur you seek,
is a recollection.
Your eyes have shut
yet you find them all in your heart.
And we have less to flaunt
than you.

You have seen more
than we
and in our life time...
we remain blind...

Your sight has ceased
because you have seen
it all.

Photo by: Jay Protacio M.
Location: West Bajac Bajac Market, Olongapo City

When Summer Is Gone

2009-07-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

Summer was good to me this year. I had many opportunities to shoot pictures.

Well, not just my usual street stroll shots and gate-crashed wedding shoots but also some bonus photo ops. My wife and I went to Pundakit in San Antonio, Zambales with my dear friend Atty. Ronald Gavino and a couple of other friends. The beach was spectacular and the people were so nice. We stayed in Ronald's beach house.... ( We drank.. we ate.. we swam.. we drank.. and ate again...)

The next day was even better because we took a boat ride to the famous Capones Island. That was last March.

Last April, my photo group, the flickristasindios or "indios" as we fondly called our group went to Pundakit again not for a boat ride to Capones Island but for a ride to Anawangin Cove (Also in San Antonio, Zambales). During that group trip, I had the chance to shoot landscapes that were different from my other landscapes and I even had the chance to shoot models... (hehehehehe) Now, I don't think for shooting models since I am more comfortable with shooting street portraits and street scenes... But still it was a good learning experience for me...

But enough with the blabber. Time for photos.

I will miss summer.. that's for sure.

The First Pundakit Trip:

Boat Ride To Capones Island:

Capones Shoreline:

By now you know who this is:

Indios Anawangin Trip 2009:

Anawangin Cove:

Anawangin Waves (Long Exposure):

Model Shoot@ wood area Anawangin:
Models Jill & Juju

Juju by the Rocks:

Model Shot by the woods, Anawangin:
Model: Eureka

Eureka Pose

Eureka and the Waves

I told you, I'm going to miss this summer

Was Feeling Really Horny That Day (What ever it is your thinking.. stop it)

2009-06-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

This shot was taken during the June 12, 2009 independence day celebration here in Olongapo City. It was taken in the local park where poeple where offering flowers to Jose Protacio Rizal's monument. A marching band was playing and I asked one of the horn section members to pose.

His name is Mr. Irish Samaranos, he plays the trombone and a local college student. Members of the first Olongapo City Marching Band are mostly composed of city scholars. They are new and yet to sport a uniform until August of this year.

Words and Photos by: Jay Protacio M.

Location: Olongapo City

Model: 1. Irish Samaranos 2. His Trombone

The Tie That Binds Us

2009-06-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

As simple as it may seem
You hold one end
While I hold the other.
Not to test each other's strength
But to share them
Instead.

Through this tow
that marches from my point
to the next
and back to its source.

Once and again we pull
ourselves
nearer
closer

Yet this rope remains.
Stranded.

Jay Protacio M. (1978- )

Photo by JPM
Location : Olongapo City Bay Area

Kaligayahan

2009-06-16T23:57:00.000-07:00

Dahil naibaba na ang lahat ng depensa

at lahat ng sandata'y naubos.

Tanging bala ay

ay mga pumupugak na pintig

at punglong pinapurol na ng

malayang isip.

Mga ilang saglit na tuwa

(parang walang katapusan)

at nawaglit na mga ala-ala.

Ikaw iyon. Noon.

Ngayon naman ay tayo.

Ito lang ang alam kong gyera

na parehong kampo ang masaya.

Wagi.

Maligalig pero maligaya.

June 19, 2009

Photo by: me J. Protacio

Model : My Wife

Borrowing Sunrise (for Reggie)

2008-04-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

We wake up.
Empty hands.
Empty Pockets.
Never an empty heart.
Remnants of a squeaky bed post.

You slide gently,
as if the whole marketplace would hear.
A grunt could mean a groan these days.
I pretend not to hear you.
Pretending not to smell you.

Stepping out, I followed.
A burts of light leaves the room.
We left the moon and the stars where they stood last night.

And though the sunrise is not mine,
I give it to you.. just the same.

Jay Protacio M.
(1978- )

Washed Out (From my Photo-Blogs Series)

2008-04-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

"There was a time when I tried writing wishes, dreams and hopes on the sand... only to find out all of them have been washed away by the ebbing tides..."

For Mothers... (From my photo-blogs series)

2008-04-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

I've been absent from blogging for a long time... I used up all my spare time discovering photography... Which, until now.. I still consider my self as an amateur... (A third world amateur)

Lately, I decided to post some of the photos I took and try to put a story behind each shots... This will be the first of the Photo-Blogs Series that I will post here on Scartches...

I hope you guys will again view my blogs, now that I have decided to engage in blogging once again...

Thanks.

JPM,

I took this photo of a native sister Aeta who took a break from walking a round the market. She sat in front of our flowershop, with her baby tied around her waist...

Title: Sleepy Head

Caption: "Mothers: Although your hands are rough, to us your's are the smoothest... though your skin is soaked in sweat and dirt, to us your's is the best scent we ever sniffed... though your arms are hard and stiff, to us they are the softest bed we ever laid on..."

"Mother, your name is the name of God in the lips and hearts of the innocent children..."

An Ode to Otik

2007-09-20T16:00:00.000-07:00

Otik is a freeman. He doesn't bother with most of man's trivial rules. He urinates in places where you and I are not allowed... where you and I would not dare. He crosses the city streets with flare and cares not for the speeding cars and jeepneys. Infact, there are moments when he actually stops the flow of traffic.

Otik is free from any problems. He doesn't need a watch, nor a mobile phone, nor any device that we are most dependent. He follows no schedule and he can never be commanded to follow routine and monotony.

Otik doesn't even comb his hair and he never shaves.

For Otik, the most dilectable of all gourmets are found in a heap of trash. He eats them with such controlled enthusiasm... eyes closed and savoring each bite.

For many people Otik is nothing but a demented fool wondering the streets with wooden swords sticking out of his improvised belt and a broken telephone earpiece hanging on the side of his backpack. Some even say that he became this way because used to do drugs when he was younger... But these are all lies...

I know Otik... He never did any drugs. He used to be just like you and me... probably even better than us.

He had a decent job... He graduated from a known school... had a girlfriend... a circle of friends... and he even had a bank account

He just became this way... Suddenly... Without any detected symptom, nor anyhint.
He just went out of their house one day and never came back the same way he was... He just resigned from society and from all the false consciousness we all abide to...

No. Otik is not insane. In some way, he is normal and we are demented... He has freed himself from the many things that we blindly follow day in and day out... He is happy... pure... carefree...